The Godfather
by BelovedShadow
Summary: We all know them. Harry Potter: The Boy Who Lived and Sirius Black: The loving godfather. Actually,Harry might be the more loving one- and perhaps he's a bit too loving of Sirius, but maybe Sirius doesn't mind that as much as he should. HarryXSirius YAOI
1. Better Than My Own Reflection

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything about Harry Potter. Not the books, the movies, or anything else.**

**Warning: This contains a homoerotic relationship between Harry Potter and Sirius Black. That would be Taboo, gay, sex. It will probably be quite graphic in certain bits, but we're not anywhere near that at the moment. I'll warn you again when we are.**

**A/N: Yes! All the movies are out! Of course, I read all the books first- but now that all the movies are out I can insert shameless spoilers wherever the fuck I want! Which makes me much more comfortable writing fanfiction about it! I will mention here that there's a bunch of people alive in this fanfic who died in the series. So... don't waste my time telling me that people are dead... I know that... I miss them... so I revived them!**

**Enjoy!**

"I can't believe it's really the last day." Hermione exclaimed excitedly to her best friends.

Actually it was the day _after_the last day, but she'd insisted that they stay a day longer at Hogwarts to help the house elves clean up the castle and grounds. Harry and Ron hadn't been to eager about the idea, but Hermione was either ignoring that, or completely oblivious to their lack of enthusiasm.

"Harry? Harry!"

The boy who lived looked up in shock at his brilliant-minded friend.

"Harry have you heard a single word of what I've just said?"

"No." He answered honestly, getting up and walking out of the Gryffindor common room. He needed some time to clear his head. Summer. He'd made it through school and he'd be going back to Sirius. At eighteen years old he should have been a proud graduate, going off to sort out a life for himself. Still, for some reason he had no desire to move out of his Godfather's house. He felt something pulling him to stay there, some sort of want or need that he hadn't yet even realized he wanted or needed.

As he walked silently down the corridor his eyes were attracted to a movement on the wall to his right. That was odd. The room of requirement was opening for him... he hadn't even asked for anything.

Curiously, he opened the door and stepped inside. His eyes widened. Clearly displayed before him in the middle of the room, was the Mirror Of Erised. It did make sense then. Harry had been thinking about how he needed to know what he needed. How ironic.

Harry slowly stepped towards the mirror. At first it displayed the usual image: his parents on either side of him with their hands gently rested on his shoulders. Simple and sweet, but with a ripple that image disappeared. And another began to form. So it was as he'd suspected, his heart had grown to desire more than one thing.

He stepped closer to the reflective glass, gazing curiously at himself. Now, he saw Sirius. In the image, Sirius was embracing him from behind, placing gentle kisses on his neck. Instinctively, Harry's hand flew to his neck. But of course, there were no lips there. This was simply a mirage. Something that existed only within Harry's heart, and now his mind. Sirius would never feel the same way, and even if he _did_-he wasn't the type to consider his best friend's son as a potential lover.

Harry frowned. What good was it to know what you wanted most in the world, if you could never actually have it? First his parents, and now a romantic relationship with his Godfather. This mirror was completely useless.

He trotted out of the room at a hasty, annoyed pace. Stupid mirror didn't actually help him do anything but get even more confused. As if that wasn't enough- he was given the shock of a lifetime upon re-entering the common room. He actually almost walked right back out to get his head together, but it was too late. He'd been spotted... by Sirius.

Sirius mother-fucking Black. No escaping it now, he was right here, and this time it wasn't just an unauthentic reflection. It was the real deal. How was Harry so sure that Sirius wasn't his imagination? That would be because the older wizard was sitting in an arm-chair grinning like a fool. If Harry had been imagining him, they'd already be passionately tongue-wrestling.

"Hey, Sirius." The teen said somewhat sadly, feeling quite tormented by the Animagus' handsome features. "What are you doing here?"

Sirius rose from his seat and smiled all the more, clearly not picking up on his godson's woeful mood. He hugged Harry tightly. "Gryffindor once, Gryffindor forever. I believe I have just as much a right to be here as you, young master Potter. We're both former students now."

Harry ignored the man's friendly chatter, breathing in deeply and taking in Sirius' delicious scent. "I missed you, Sirius." He mumbled into the elder's chest honestly. It was extremely difficult for Harry to remain mad while being embraced by him. Even if it _was _from the front, and even if it _didn't_include any kissing of the neck. This would have to be enough. He blushed at his less than school-appropriate thoughts, but luckily his godfather wouldn't be able to see the offensive tinge of his cheeks at that angle.

"I missed you too, Harry. We haven't even spoken face to face since... the winter holiday, I believe? Yes, that was it. How does it feel to be a Hogwarts graduate?" Sirius asked, looking down a the top of his favourite godson's head - ok, his _only_ godson's head... But that just gave him one more reason to be his favourite. Harry heaved a heavy, annoyed sigh - pulling away slightly so he could look at the man's attractive, slightly wild features once more.

"Annoying. You'd think that after defeating Voldemort the professors would go a _little_easier on me. Ron and I wouldn't have even passed any of our final exams if it weren't for Hermione sharing her notes."

Sirius chuckled, kissing Harry's hair softly. "I'm certain that you're incorrect, Harry. You can do anything you put your mind to."

"Sirius... am I... special to you?" Harry asked. It didn't seem too forward of a question- but unfortunately, Sirius didn't take it seriously anyway.

"Of course. You're special to everyone. You're the boy who lived." He said sarcastically.

"Twice, in fact." Ron added on, walking down the steps with his and Harry's trunks levitating behind him.

Sirius laughed softly at the ginger's joking comment. "Yes, I keep forgetting. You're the boy who lived _twice. _That makes you even more special, doesn't it?"

The parselmouth rolled his eyes and walked over to sulk on the couch- clearly disappointed that no one had paid much attention to the real meaning behind his question. Even Ron Weasley and Sirius Black were smarter than _this, _right?

"Oh don't be so bitter, Harry. You really are special to me."

Harry ignored Sirius, turning to face the fire place. He hadn't wanted to be bothered with the older Gryffindor yet, anyway. He was supposed to have an entire train ride to his thoughts while Ron and Hermione were off in some other compartment snogging their lives away. Then, he'd reach King's Cross station and be greeted by Sirius and Remus, fully mentally prepared for a summer at number twelve Grimmauld place.

That was the ideal situation. Instead, he'd suddenly realized a sexual attraction to his own godfather, and not two minutes afterwards, said godfather had unexpectedly showed up in the common room- surely thinking that he was helping out by saving Harry from the train ride. Then perhaps they'd meet up with Remus and Tonks- or maybe not... they had a fairly new baby, they might be busy that summer.

"Where's Professor Lupin?" Harry asked, daring again to look up and face his father's best friend. He saw slightly concerned sapphire blue orbs gazing back at him.

"He's busying himself with family life, I believe. He'll be over tonight for dinner. Let's not change the subject though. Sorry for poking fun at your question, but I want this to be very clear: you are Harry Potter. Because of that, you are special to me. If you weren't the boy who lived, or the chosen one, or my godson, or a hero, or the child of two of my dearest friends- even if you weren't a _wizard. _You would still be _you_- and I would still love you for that. Do you understand?"

Harry nodded, feeling a smile dance across his face. Sirius was smiling back at him, happy that Harry was out of his brief depression. But Sirius would never understand the smile on his godson's face. He would always think that his words were reassuring, comforting, kind- something that any godfather would say. He didn't realize that none of what he said mattered, except for one tiny little detail, that he'd barely thought up.

He'd said it offhandedly, and not exactly directly, or romantically. But he'd said it, and Harry would hold on to that for as long as he had to.

Sirius Black said he loved him.

**A/N: Not too horrid, I hope? There are probably some errors here and there. I'm aware of that, so there's no need to tell me unless you REALLY want to...**

** Please drop a review! **

**Love you for reading,**

**-Beloved**


	2. Kreacher's Kreeping

**A/N: Sorry it's taken so long to update, anyways, it's here now so I won't hold you up with my babble any longer! **

**Enjoy!**

Harry held the baby in his arms awkwardly. He had rarely been around young children in his lifetime and had absolutely no idea what he was supposed to do in order to properly entertain a two year old baby. He merely stared into his godson's eyes in confusion and watched as the infant looked just as intently back at him, as if it was waiting for something interesting to happen.

Alas, the babe reached a hand up to Harry's face and grabbed hold of the wizard's lip, tugging at it insistently, trying to pull the soft squishy skin away from Harry's face so that he could play with it properly.

Harry was completely at loss for a solution.

"Mmhh... Thonkz... Cumb... Gedd... Tebby...Ow!" He didn't know if his words were comprehendible, but he was hoping so.

"Just another moment, Harry! We're almost done!" Nymphadora called back calmly, clearly unable to realise that her mundane task of teaching Sirius and Remus how to cook a decent stew without magic wasn't nearly as important as detaching her child from it's inexperienced godfather.

Harry frowned. The baby was still holding on to his lip, and was now using it's other hand to poke annoyingly at his signature scar. It didn't hurt- in fact he was barely aware of the scars existence anymore after defeating Voldemort- but it still felt oddly ticklish to be prodded on the forehead with those clammy little fingers.

The teen frowned and closed his eyes, letting out an agitated sigh, but he opened them in surprise when he heard a familiar bark that sounded almost like laughter. Sirius trotted over towards Harry in his animagus form, playfully nuzzling his nose against the babe's back until Teddy turned around, releasing Harry's face so that he could pull at his canine friend's ears. Sirius licked at the baby's face playfully, earning himself a delighted squealing giggle. Harry merely watched them enviously.

He couldn't tell which of them he wanted to be more, the baby wiggling and happy, playing freely with the dog- without having to worry about awkwardness, or appropriation. Or, the dog himself. So passionate and beautiful, even in the simplest of tasks. Harry couldn't help but gaze longingly at that black silky fur- true, he wasn't attracted to Sirius' four-legged body in a sexual way, but he could appreciate the unique and addictive qualities of the man's _mind _no matter what shape he appeared to be on the outside.

Smoothly and effortlessly, Sirius slipped back into his human body and in the same movement lifted Teddy off of Harry's lap and tossed him into the air. He caught the infant with ease and repeated the action, laughing along with the tiny little boy and seemingly unaware of Harry's jealous gaze.

Tonks entered the room next, smiling at her cousin and her son as they played. She noted Harry's depressed expression and plopped herself down next to him, raising an inquisitive eyebrow in lieu of actually speaking aloud- so as not to draw attention to his discomfort. Dejectedly, the brunette let himself be coaxed out of his shell.

"Okay, fine, Tonks. Quit with the stealthy curious faces. I just... Well, Sirius is so good with children. I was wondering if you and Moony might have chosen the wrong godfather."

Tonks snorted and rolled her eyes. "Harry, you're an exquisite godfather! Teddy adores you! Besides, I think that having _one _Junior Marauder as a godson is enough. Surely we can't dump a mini-stag _and _a mini-wolf on one useless dog; Sirius has his hands full enough with just you!"

"Oi! I can here you!" Sirius exclaimed in mock-anger, grinning ear to ear as he passed the still giggling baby of to an exhausted looking Moony. Said wolf was entering the room with the pot of stew levitated in front of him, he held his wand pointed at the food in his right hand, and his offspring on his left hip.

"Sorry if you mind, Harry, but I couldn't help hearing your concern. It's true that were James alive and well he may have been our choice for godfather, but it's been a long time since that was an option, and considering all circumstances, there's no one I'd want to do it more." Lupin reassured, giving his former student a gentle smile.

"You've already got _my _record beaten just by knowing him for the first two years without getting booted off to Azkaban!" Sirius joked.

Harry looked up to acknowledge him and was caught completely off-guard by the elder man's eyes. Sirius's eyes looked the most interesting when he spoke of Azkaban. Their bright blue-gray hue was tainted somehow with years of pain, agony, and regret... and still... there was some other elated emotion dying to break it's way through and remind everyone that he was finally home, and surrounded by friends. They stared meaningfully at each other for a moment longer before Harry turned away.

"You're the best Godfather I could ever have imagined for myself, Sirius. The years that matter are the years we have, not the ones we didn't." Harry mumbled softly, not looking up to see the loving smile that he knew he was receiving. It was useless. No matter how much Sirius loved him, it would never be in the way that he wanted.

As a child, Sirius had always spoiled Harry. Buying his first broomstick, and later his best broomstick. Giving him the mirror, the knife, and anything else that Harry ever desired. It almost seamed unreasonable to ask more of a man who already gave so much. Always giving. Always caring. Always loving- even from afar. It was too much to ask Sirius to hand over his own heart and body as well. It was too much because Harry already _hated _feeling like he needed to ask favours, and even more so because he had no idea how Sirius would react.

What if the Marauder _wasn't_ so opposed to exploring new options with his godson? Then what? They'd fuck a couple of times, whisper some sweet nothings, and be excruciatingly awkward forever. Harry would have to keep his distance from Sirius- or dive completely into his emotions. Lingering in limbo would only make them both confused and irritable.

"Harry? Aren't you going to eat?" Lupin asked.

Harry shook away his thoughts and realized that everyone was walking over to the dining table and sitting down, while he still was gazing at the carpet dreamily.

"Sorry, I was daydreaming... I'll grab something later, I'm sorry. I'm just... not hungry." Harry said shortly, standing and turning on his heel to make his way up the steps to his bedroom. He loved the room, it was so elegant at first, almost intimidating so, but he'd managed to make it nice and comfy.

When he'd first moved in, Sirius had been absolutely opposed to Harry having Regulus' old room, but Harry loved the architecture, and ended up bargaining that if he decorated it in red and gold out of spite for it's previous green and silver combination he would be allowed to claim it as his.

In reality, Harry didn't care whether the room was Tom Riddle's himself. It was spacious and comfortable and he liked it. End of story. He plopped down on the bed with a soft thump and rolled over on his back, staring up at the ceiling and admiring the emerald green mosaic of a snake that had proven impossible to remove. Sometimes at night, Harry would spill out all his thoughts to that snake. It seemed so understanding. Maybe it was because Harry could speak to it in a language that none of his friends could decipher, or maybe it was just that he had a soft spot for snakes.

Either way, it was what he did now. He whispered to the snake in parseltongue about his love for Sirius, and his inner conflict, and oddly enough- how much it annoyed him that all he had to do with his time was sit around and feel pitiful and sorry for himself. He was Harry Potter. The boy who lived. The defeater of Lord Voldemort. The Chosen One. He was brave, and loyal, and a bunch of other great stuff- according to his peers. He'd faced dragons, and Inferi, and mastered death. Yet, he was completely shit out of luck when faced with his own emotions. What a disappointment.

It would make headlines in _The Daily Prophet: _**Boy Who Stopped The Dark Lord, Unable To Control His Own Sinful Feelings **_by Rita Skeeter. _

_Harry Potter, a young boy of twelve, is known for a great many feats, but what you DON'T know, is that this young boy of twelve is irrevocably in love with his own Godfather! And has absolutely no idea what to do about it! Potter has openly admitted that he enjoys taking long nude walks on the beach with Black, and has to restrain his growing erection from becoming a mood-kill during these outings. In fact- _

"Master Potter should not whisper things that he doesn't want to be heard."

Harry immediately ceased his snake-like mock article and turned fearful eyes to face the gnarled and menacing voice that he'd come to know so well.

"Kreacher, _you're _a parselmouth?" Harry asked in disbelief, misunderstanding how the house-elf could have understood what he was mumbling.

"Kreacher must follow orders no matter what tongue they're spoken in, Master Potter." The servant taunted. "Master Black might find it curious that Master Potter talks to snakes about naked walks on beaches and growing erec-"

"Hush before he hears you!" Harry hissed.

Great. Just great. Kreacher knew. So basically, everyone knew... at any minute.

"Kreacher I forbid you to tell anyone what you heard. Do you understand?"

The elf merely smirked, and was gone with a loud crack. He appeared in the kitchen and poured three butterbeers then carried them to the dining area and set them down in front of each chatting adult.

"Where's Harry?" Sirius asked, concern evident in his voice.

"Says he's not hungry." Lupin said, rather slowly and carefully, deadpanning Sirius with eyes that showed great expectation.

Sirius noted the gaze and shrugged at his friend, not knowing what he was supposed to do. "So... he's not hungry."

"Really, Pads? That's what you're amazing thinking skills have told you? That he's not hungry? I don't know if he eats when you two are alone, but since his graduation last year I haven't seen him consume a single morsel of nutrition."

"Oh come on, Remus! He eats! He'd be long dead by now if he didn't!"

"So the only evidence you have that he eats is that he's still alive."

"What better proof than that? It's been a year and he's healthy. So, he's eating. Case closed."

Tonks frowned at the men's little spat. "He does seem rather emotionally distraught... you don't think it's Teddy, do you? Do we ask him to babysit too much? Maybe that's why he thinks he's suddenly so concerned about being a godfather."

"On the contrary, my dear, I believe Harry's recent depression has more to do with his _own _godfather." Remus insisted, again giving Sirius the stink eye.

"If Kreacher could have a word, Master Black?"

Sirius glared down at the raggedy looking slave. He didn't hesitate to noticed the way that Kreacher's voice dripped with sarcasm when he addressed him as _Master. _

"Go on, out with it."

"Kreacher overheard Master Potter in Master Regulas' bedroom recently. He said something about Morfa Dyffryn beach..."

"In Wales? No way. It'd be a pain to get luggage there." Sirius said, dismissing the thought.

"You won't need to pack many clothes. That's a nude beach, isn't it?" Tonks asked curiously.

Remus and Sirius shrugged identically.

"That would be good for him, Sirius. Nude beaches really help one to feel comfortable in their body. Maybe some bonding without the restrictions of society will help you two to regain the closeness you used to have."

Sirius grimaced at the thought. "Naked?... With Harry? James would never-"

"Harry's not James, Sirius. You need to stop thinking of him as a piece of James and see him for the young man he's become." Lupin cut in icily.

"Fine! If you think that me taking our best mate's son to a nude beach for no apparent reason is a good idea, then _fine_! Just... don't tell him. It'll be better if he doesn't know till we get there. If he's really so heart-set on this, then at least let's keep it a surprise."

Remus and Tonks nodded in approval. Even Teddy gave an endorsing hum of agreement.

"You should bring Teddy!" Nymphadora suggested gleefully.

"Why?"

"It'll be great! Harry will go to the beach he's been wanting to visit with his Godfather and his Godson. He'll have a lovely time."

"Tch. You just want a weekend off." Sirius grumbled.

Tonks neither confirmed nor disagreed, and they continued having small talk. Kreacher kept his amused grin well camouflaged as he cleaned up their meal and fixed a bowl of leftovers to bring up to Harry.

In truth, he didn't mind the Potter boy. He'd actually grown quite fond of him, and whether Harry realized it or not- Kreacher's creeping would end up being a forceful kick in _exactly _the right direction.

**A/N: I hope this fic isn't moving too fast... I don't know how long it'll be, I'm still kind of experimenting with this pairing, but I'm seriously wishing that you found some sort of enjoyment in this chapter!**

**Please leave a review!**

**I love all my readers!**

**-Beloved**


	3. Boarding The Bus

"You've got to be kidding me," Harry huffed out in annoyance, recognizing the familiar weight and smell of a large black dog bouncing on his bed and licking his face. Why Sirius thought this was a suitable way to wake a teenager was beyond the younger wizard's mental range of comprehension, but even as much of a pest as the man _was, _Harry found it impossible to request that he be left alone.

When the barking creature atop him suddenly became a laughing one, and the weight pressed down in a more human fashion, was when Harry finally sat up and pushed the old fool off. Doggy Sirius was manageable, but full-on _human _Sirius laying on top of Harry first thing in the morning would lead to a very awkward situation very quickly.

"What's the time?" The boy asked sleepily, as he reached blindly to his glasses and put them on.

"Half six," was the Animagus' cheery reply.

"I've missed a whole day?" Harry asked, glancing incredulously out of the window to see that it was quite dark outside.

"No, you're just starting one. It's half six in the _morning._" Sirius clarified, with a smile.

Harry glared at the man who was now comfortably spread across the bottom of his bed. Sirius didn't work. Harry didn't work. They were both out of school. Voldemort was dead. No engagements had been made to go anywhere as far as Harry knew. There was _no _reason for them to be up so early.

"What are you thinking about, Harry?" Sirius asked, running a finger through his own hair absentmindedly and deducing as a minor thought that perhaps it really _was _time to get a bit of a trim.

Harry continued to glare. "Honestly, I'm thinking that if your habits of waking people up to play with you at six thirty in the morning have been a life long ritual – I'm not too surprised that everyone else you've ever lived with has either died or resorted to the use of dark magic."

At that, Sirius had a long, hearty laugh, and grinned ear to ear. "You have your father's temper and your mother's quick wit." He remarked, staring at Harry as if he was a prized family heirloom rather than an actual person. Suddenly, he shook his head and frowned. "No, you're just Harry and you have your own Harry Potter signature distasteful morning attitude." He decided with an affirmitive nod, refusing to think of Harry as either of his parents (something he'd been working on for quite some time now)

Harry raised an eyebrow, noting that he'd just witnessed perhaps the _only _time that Sirius had ever creditied anything about him without joyously stating the person from which he'd received whatever particular trait was being displayed. It was nice to just be... Harry. He smiled, forgetting his annoyance. "So, why are we up so early, then?"

"Because, my dear boy, it is impossible to catch the Knight Bus after the sun is up."

Knight bus?" Harry was clearly missing something. "Are we going somewhere?" He asked stupidly.

"Wales." Was Sirius' deadpan reply, as if it was just every day that _wizards _decided to up and bus themselves to Wales for no established reason.

"Why? And why take the Knight Bus? Any normal bus could get us there in an hour and a half." Harry whinged, not wanting to go anywhere but back to sleep at this hour and not seeing why he had to.

"Can't tell you why, it's a surprise. The Knight Bus was Moony's idea, so you're barking up the wrong tree with that one."

Harry nodded in resignation, stretching with his arms above his head and releasing a contented sigh when he heard a faint cracking in his back. "_I'm getting old..." _he whispered to the snake mural above his head, blushing slightly when Sirius cast him a questioning glance.

"What?" Harry asked somewhat defensively, even though he knew full well why he was on the receiving end of such a look.

"Did you just mutter to yourself in parseltongue?"

Harry pretended not to hear him, and flopped carelessly out of bed. He'd been chatting with Sirius for too long, and couldn't lounge around much more while still denying his natural morning need to visit the toilet.

A dumbfounded Sirius Black was left sitting on Harry's bed, thinking. That was strange. It was sort of like a sudden wake-up call, really. Lily and James didn't mumble in snake language. Of course they didn't. So it was natural that he'd be shocked to hear Harry do it, right? Wrong. _Harry _was a parselmouth. Had been for as long as he was speaking. Sirius knew that. He _knew _that he knew that already, but … It was just strange to see the boy do something so utterly and completely unlike either of his parents. Sirius thought about it and realized that Harry did, in fact, do _loads _of things that were unlike both of his parents. He was an individual. Completely his own person. Sirius smiled to himself, finally being graced with the epiphany that Remus had been waiting on for years. Harry was … Harry.

"Why're you sitting on my bed grinning like an idiot? Didn't you just say we had a bus to catch?"

"Right, sorry."

Sirius hopped off of the bed, becoming a dog somewhere between the time he was off the mattress and on the floor, and bounding off to go finish with his own packing.

Harry rolled his eyes and opened up his closet, frowning at his clothes, and the one random set of Slytherin robes that refused to remove itself from it's hanger, and found its way back to the closet whenever the hanger itself was disposed of. Clearly, Regulus was just as desperate to leave Slytherin legacy in his bedroom than Sirius was with his Gryffindor decorated counterparts.

Harry didn't mind, though. He was, at times, a Slytherin at heart – the hat had been right about that. He jerked in shock when he heard a loud cracking sound behind him, and turned to see the arrival of a very mischievous looking Kreacher.

"Young Master Potter will not be needing so much to pack for his trip, sir." Kreacher said, much too polite to be relaying any sort of kindhearted implication with his words.

"What's that supposed to mean? No matter where we go in Wales, we'll need clothes."

Kreacher's disturbingly polite smile slightly widened. "Master Regulus' naughty brother takes Harry Potter to a naughty place," Kreacher said, wearing what Harry could only describe as some sinister twist between a smirk and a frown – while somehow looking utterly delighted.

"What do you know? I _order _you to tell me where we are going!" Harry demanded frantically, remembering with dread what exactly he'd been muttering about when Kreacher had caught him talking to himself a couple nights before.

"Master Potter is being taken to a nude beach for the weekend, like he wanted."

Harry felt all the blood leaving his face. "Naked? All weekend? With Sirius?"

Everything faded to black, and he almost heard the sound of his own head clunking against the floor as he passed out.

When he woke, it was to the violent feeling of the bed he was now lying in being slammed up against a wall. He blinked his eyes open to see a familiar sandy-haired werewolf looking down at him with a concerned expression.

"He's woken up, Pads." Remus said softly, offering Harry a smile that was so supportive it made the boy who lived nervous. His father's gentle friend patted him kindly on the shoulder, then walked slightly away from him as Sirius approached.

"Harry! I knew you'd be up soon, we just went on and levitated you onto the bus, didn't think you'd mind." He was smiling so sweetly that Harry really _couldn't _bring himself to mind, and he hated that he was so completely in love with this idiot.

"No, it's fine, but Sirius – a nude beach? Why?"

Sirius pouted in a way that was so damn adorable Harry almost kissed him on the spot. Clearly this whole skinny-dipping adventure was supposed to be some sort of pleasant surprise.

"You don't want to? Kreacher spelled it out like you were pretty adamant about it."

Harry sighed, not wanting Sirius to be aware of how much of a screw-up this trip could turn out to be. He wanted Sirius to be happy, and oddly enough, at that moment it meant that he _himself _had to be happy, because that's what Sirius wanted.

"I'm looking forward to it!" Harry said with a lying smile, "I just didn't think you'd be up for anything like this, you know... It could be … I don't know, awkward."

Sirius smiled again, and shrugged. "Don't be silly Harry. I've changed your diapers, for Merlin's sake!"

Harry frowned, deeply disgusted by that thought, and he heard Remus snorting nearby and discovered that the wolf was actually still quite close to them.

"Sirius, a lot has changed about my body between then and now. You _do _realize that, don't you?"

Sirius nodded, clearly about to say something that he thought was very insightful and exciting. "Yeah, because _then –_ you were my best mate's baby, so I kind of had to do all that stuff, you know – for James. But _now, _you're just Harry, so your nakedness is just as normal as any other blokes! Right, Moony?" Sirius asked, gazing hopefully at Remus and hoping that he'd gotten that out correctly without making an idiot of himself.

Lupin slowly looked up from the book he'd been reading and smiled. "I think young Harry was thinking more along the lines of pubic hair, but what you said was very nice, Padfoot."

_Young Harry _was just about ready to sink through the floor.

**A/N: So, they're still not quite at the beach yet. Sorry. Next chapter though, I promise! **

**Please review! I love you so much for reading! **

**-Beloved**


	4. No Dogs Allowed!

**A/N: Well this is fucking awkward. **

**I know that most of you people who are subscribed don't even remember this fic anymore because it's been so long and I've had it on the back burner. **

**Sorry for that. Truly. I really like this chapter though, and I think you will too – even if you DO have to re-read the last ones just to remember what's going on.**

**Enjoy!**

Much to Harry's relief, when they arrived at the beach not _everyone _was naked. In fact, most of the people who chose to go nude weren't even attractive. Harry didn't fault them for this, of course – but he did get some relief out of knowing that if Sirius _did _decide to let it all hang out, all Harry had to do was focus on one of the saggy old ladies instead of his ridiculously sexy godfather.

Remus was surprisingly the most confident out of their trio, and had stripped down to his pants while Sirius and Harry were both still fully dressed. Harry supposed he ought to at least take off his shirt as it was rather hot in the beating sun, but maybe if they neared the water a bit more it would cool down and he wouldn't even have to do that.

They'd passed a sign earlier saying 'Naturists May Be Seen Beyond This Point' and it seemed like most people stripped off as soon as they reached it, but their group was a bit reluctant.

"Look, Pads," Remus pointed to another sign, his one rather large and imposing. It was a picture of a black dog with a red slash through it, "No dogs allowed. Guess we ought to turn around."

Sirius squinted at the sign and turned up his nose. "I've no idea what you mean, Moony dear. That poorly painted animal is _clearly _a wolf!"

With a subtle flick of the wand so as not to alert the Muggles, Remus transfigured the sign into a dog that resembled Sirius' Animagus form to the tee. In response to this offence, Sirius transfigured the sign as well, before ducking behind a nearby abandoned parasol and coming back out as a grim.

Harry shook his head at their antics, and it took all of thirty seconds for someone who clearly thought themselves in a position of authority to walk over to them. He was a heavy-set man, stout but tall. He had light brown hair that was stuck to his head with either beach water or sweat, and a furry little cock that bounced merrily as he walked over, despite the frown on his face.

"Can't you read the sign?" The man asked, not facing the sign though he pointed at it frantically.

Remus snorted.

"Of course," Harry said, scratching behind Sirius' ears casually, "Can't you?"

The man turned then, giving them a view of his shriveled dimply arse, as he took in the sign:

**Morfa Dyffryn Beach Now Welcomes Dogs of All Breeds!  
>Please Refrain From 'Scooping the Poop' as it Fertilizes the Sand.<br>Wolves and Fawns Are Still STRICTLY PROHIBITED!  
>Thank You! <strong>

Mister teeny-weeny seemed utterly appalled if his clenching butt-cheeks were anything to go by. "Fawns?" He breathed out incredulously, scratching the back of his head.

"Baby stags," Remus explained.

"I know what a damned fawn is!" The man sneered, spinning around to face them, "Only I can't imagine why they'd be prohibited unless there was some _foul play_."

"Me either!" Harry yelled, outraged, drawing the attention of several other beach-goers. "This is clearly a _conspiracy_!" He accused, looking wildly around and making as much eye contact with as many people as possible as if to suggest that they were the ones responsible.

Sirius was wagging his tail at an impressive rate and woofing delightedly, while Remus was tensed up and clenching his jaw with the effort not to laugh. Harry, for his part, was far from finished.

"Fawns are an extraordinary and unique part of our ecosystem! How dare they be banned from a plot of land reserved for _naturists _when they themselves are the absolute epitome of NATURE!"

The man who had approached them had long since gotten confused with how his do-good-ery had taken this route, but seemed content to join in on Harry's indignation.

"I demand an explanation! Talk to someone about this or this resort will be facing a law suit in its near future!" Harry announced, and the man scurried off to find someone who would presumably sympathize with him on why fawns rather than dogs should be permitted access to a nude beach. Harry saw this as a chance to exit the spotlight, and did just that, dragging Remus along with him as he ventured closer to the water.

They'd attracted enough attention at this point that they couldn't exactly ditch their 'dog' so Remus suggested that Padfoot stick around for the rest of the day and perhaps they'd come back tomorrow with his more two-legged counterpart.

This was a perfect solution to Harry's problem. When Padfoot started biting and pulling at his trousers, he obediently stripped his clothes off after only putting up a characteristic amount of fuss. His nudity did cause a little bit of attention, though. After all, he was a young toned guy, unlike most of the naturists on the beach. He didn't care about the appreciative looks though. He watched as Sirius played around in the water with a few little children who were splashing about. Harry felt a bit awkward exposing himself to what must have been a six or seven year old girl, but he supposed it was the lifestyle her parents had chosen for her and he shouldn't let it get to him.

"I guess we _could _have brought Teddy," Remus mused, leaning back on the sand, "I think it's wonderful that you're so outgoing about all this, Harry. I do doubt that this trip is happening without some miscommunication."

Harry nodded along, "You're the outgoing one," he pointed out, "After all, you were the first to strip."

Remus chuckled and shook his head. "Doesn't count – I'm using a glamour."

Now that Harry looked at him more carefully, Remus _was _rather unblemished. It hadn't even occurred to him at first that due to certain Lunar events his former professor might not be so comfortable displaying his skin.

He almost wanted to apologize for some reason, but as soon as he opened his mouth to do so he was interrupted by a familiar shaggy dog running over and _shaking_. Sea water splashed all over the both of them, which wasn't too terrible – only that it smelled like wet dog.

"Sirius!" Harry shouted, angrily trying to get water out of his face with the heel of his hand, which only succeeded in getting sand in his eye. He cursed loudly, and tried to blink it out, wincing his eyes shut. He felt hot dog breath on his face, and a slightly sandpapery tongue against his cheek. Then, mid-lick the texture changed and the scratchy paws that were against his shoulders turned into callused hands, the breath in his face turned sweet and the scent of wet dog transformed to a light seawater fragrance.

"Harry?" Sirius asked , thumbing gently at his godson's eyelids, "Let me see, Progslet," He murmured, and Harry felt a clenching at the pit of his stomach from the endearment.

"Sirius … the Muggles, they'll see-"

"I already cast a spell," He assured, gently coaxing Harry's eyes open, "It's just you and me."

Harry was really trying not to take that to heart. He looked over to Remus and sure enough, the man was completely oblivious to them, so Sirius must have used a pretty strong Notice Me Not charm. Then again, it would take one of pretty good strength for people not to see a dog turning into a man, so that was expected. It probably had nothing to do with him wanting privacy from his best friend.

Harry sighed, letting Sirius examine the sand in his eye as he shifted slightly under the man's weight. Hold on. Pause. Rewind. _Under. _

Harry's mind froze for a moment as he processed that Sirius was literally straddling while he was completely naked. Quickly he pried his eyes away from the pureblood and started searching for the fattest ugliest muggle woman that he could find. For the first time in his life, he wished that he was in the close proximity of Marge Dursley.

"Be still, I can't get it out if you keep looking around like that!" Sirius scolded.

Harry tried to take deep breaths, and think gruesome thoughts but it wasn't working, the more Sirius shifted the worse it got and this constant eye contact wasn't helping either. The man shifted back some and his arse just barely brushed against the very tip of Harry's cock and that was all it took.

He was diamond hard, panting and pumping out rivulets of precum before he knew it and Sirius seemed to think his heavy breath was all just because of the sand in his eye.

"Hey, easy Harry I think I see it… an aguamenti is probably too strong though. Hmm.. hold still."

And then, to Harry's absolute _horror _Sirius Black, his godfather and the man he was completely obsessing over in an emotional and sexual fashion every day and every night – leaned in close and _licked his eyeball. _

The only thing more horrific than this act in and of itself was Harry's reaction which was to _whimper _like some little virgin who'd never had their eyeball licked before.

"Sorry I know it's gross but it's really the best way." Sirius said apologetically. He scooted back more and now he was damn near _sitting _on Harry's erection. He could feel his hardness digging against the cleft of Sirius' ass, and he looked desperately at a woman who must have been at least eighty years old. Her boobs were only about half an inch away from her bellybutton and her skin was closer to the ground than her bones.

At this point though, it hardly made any effect on his condition – it only made Sirius gaze curiously at the direction he was looking in.

"Harry, please tell me this hard-on digging into my ass isn't from that scary old hag…"

Harry would never be able to tell you _why _he said what he said next, only that he regretted it the moment it escaped his mouth, and couldn't quite catch it and shove it back down his throat.

"No, you idiot! I've got a hard-on for the stupid mutt that won't get _off my fucking lap_!"

Oddly enough, telling Sirius aloud about his problem proved to be the perfect solution to it. He wilted like he'd jumped into a pool of ice water, and his eyes widened, staring at the space in front of his lips as if he couldn't believe what had actually escaped them.

Sirius was frowning, but not like he was upset. More, it seemed that he was trying to work something out in his mind.

"Harry James Potter," Sirius said, as if tasting the name on his tongue. Harry winced slightly at his middle name but he didn't think his godfather caught it. He looked down at Harry's body, taking in every single visible inch of him with his eyes and committing the sight to memory. He looked at the broadness of Harry's chest, and the toned muscles of his arms – watched the younger male's Adams apple when he swallowed. He traced a hand down Harry's face and looked into his eyes, his stare heavy and uncontrolled. It was probably the most open Harry had ever seen the man.

"I've never even considered you in that light." The elder man said honestly.

Harry winced as if struck by the words. "I know. I'm sorry. That was – um. That was really stupid. You can just get up and never speak to me again or something … I'll move out of your house as soon as I figure out some sort of-"

"Whoa, calm down!" Sirius exclaimed, an easy grin spreading across his face, "I only meant that I haven't thought of you that way _before_." He clarified, "You're my godson, Harry. If I had done everything properly and not been so quick to jump into things all of the time, you would have grown up like my _son_. But the truth of the matter is that you _didn't_. By the time I ever really knew you, you were already almost a man!" He combed his fingers through his hair anxiously and let out a huff of breath, "I don't know how deep whatever this – this _thing _is that you've got for me, but it's clear to me now that it's not coming from nowhere, I've just been too blind to pay attention to it. So for that, I apologize."

Harry bit his lip, not knowing what to do or say and not completely understanding what it was that Sirius was trying to get across. Was the man just letting him down easy or…

"What are you saying?'

"I'm saying that I don't know if you and me will ever be something that will work, but there's no way in hell that I'm going to stop wanting to see you every day for the rest of your life just because of some crush – no matter how deep it is. I love you Harry. That love may not be romantic or sexual or whatever you want it to be – but it's love and it's real, and I want to spend as much time with you as I can because there is so, _so _much time that we've lost. So please, whatever you do, don't let this get in the way of what we've got going for us now?"

Harry honestly didn't know what to say to that. Of course he didn't want to ruin what they had now, but he also didn't know how long he was going to be okay with things staying the way they were. He wanted more from Sirius, and if Sirius wasn't willing to give him that, it was only going to get more and more painful to be around him.

"I understand," Harry said, gulping down a sudden burning in his throat. He didn't know why he had thought that things would have gone differently, but he did. He'd kind of assumed that once the cat was out of the bag, either him and Sirius would have wild passionate sex on the spot, or Sirius would totally freak and kick him out. He hadn't even considered the possibility of some weird in-between zone where Sirius didn't want him back but wasn't disgusted. "Really, I understand." He said, hoping that his voice wouldn't crack this time.

"Harry," Sirius began, looking sad in the eyes. Harry recognized that expression. Sirius was guilty. He was making is godfather guilty for not wanting to have sex for him. Merlin what was he thinking! How could he be so horrible? "Harry, I-"

"Can we just go home?" Harry asked, blinking hard to stop himself from doing something stupid like crying. "I'm sick of naked people and I don't care about this resort." He confessed, conjuring up some clothes for himself.

"Sure, Pup, I'll get Moony ready so just tell me when and we can head-"

Harry couldn't listen to a single more word spoken in that half-guilty half-pitying tone. He apparated away on the spot, and threw up every ward he could think of around his bedroom once he got to it. Once satisfied that there was no way Sirius or Remus or Kreacher or anyone else could get into his personal space, he collapsed onto the bed and sobbed.

This had gone even worse than he'd expected.

**A/N: Thank you to all of you who read, and thank you to those who have reviewed prior to this chapter, and thank you to those of you who will review this one. **

**Love you all for reading, **

**Beloved**


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